kRiShIrAj
They laugh at me because I am different; I laugh at them because they are all the same.Archive for Gurlz
Sending off a girl to Mumbai
Sending off a friend on a short assignment out of town is a difficult task. More difficult if she is a 21-year-old pretty girl.
Today one of my girl colleagues left for Mumbai on an assignment. She would be away from office for close to a fortnight and we are all going to miss her.
You might doubt our intentions because she is pretty and had joined our company only a day earlier…but we are definitely going to miss her.Being the most enterprising, during a casual coffee break I suggested that we give the girl – for convenience sake let us name her Harini – a quick farewell. The fact that the girl was pretty (and had a sexy voice!) had nothing to do with my suggestion.Somehow, the other girls in the group weren’t very keen. “She will be back in a fortnight,” they frowned in unison. I wasn’t surprised because these were the same set of girls who only minutes earlier had said: ‘Sushmita Sen isn’t sexy!”
The other guys in the gang were willing to host the farewell – and I think her beauty & seductress-like voice had to do something with that. But when they learnt that they had to shell out Rs 300 each for the farewell, all backed out.
Being the gentleman that am, I couldn’t go back on my words…and told Harini that a farewell party had been arranged and she had to be at the Pizza Hut on J.M Road by 7.30 p.m.. When I told her about the farewell party she was surprised by our magnanimity and team spirit…and like a train under Lalu’s rule, was on time.
Needless to say, nobody else turned up.
After waiting for half an hour (which I knew was waste of time) we decided to order. The true gentleman that I am, I ordered vegetarian – she was a vegetarian.
“So, where did you work before True Advantage?” she asked me.
I began talking about my past and finished when the waiter turned up to clear the soup bowls.
Being a smart girl, she didn’t ask any more questions.
I had kept staring at her even as I spoke. At this juncture, I would like to introduce what an astrologer friend of mine called Kennedi once told me: “Keep looking at a girl for more than an hour and she wouldn’t seem as pretty as you thought she was.”
Believe me guys…Kennedi is wrong. I kept staring at Harini and by the time the bill arrived I was in love with her. Perhaps that’s why I didn’t even look at the bill when it arrived. Being the angel she is…the 21-year-old beautiful girl footed the bill.
Wonder why…when we left the Pizza Corner, Harini gave me a warm hug. I would have held on…but she pulled herself apart and walked away towards her car without saying a bye.
Note: I have lost my wallet and if you find it please get in touch with me. We can meet at the Pizza Hut – the place where I lost it.
How to get into a conversation with a girl
If you know the girl’s mobile number, getting into a conversation with her is easy. Just dial her number, tell her that you are calling from the ICICI Bank’s credit card division and want to tell her about an interesting Gold card offer. If she buys your story sheprobably is dumb enough to buy your second story too – that buying you a dinner in the evening will prove her credit worthiness.
But what if she doesn’t have a mobile phone? You definitely can’t call her landline because it is most likely that the retired father of
hers is sitting next to the landline leafing through a Times of India. What options does this give us? Look for another girl perhaps?
And this is where life gets tough.
Way back in the 2000 – when today’s 20-sumthings like me were picking up conversations with girls, it used to be different. Back
then, if one had a red Maruti 800 with “Heart Break Kid” written on the rear window…one had too many girls showing interest. “If
only Maruti 800 was a bigger car,” I remember a rich friend of mine confessing.
Those with a bike got the not-so- pretty girls. People like me, who finished their college driving a Splendour…got the not-so-pretty
girls too. Just that unlike the guys with bikes, we had to pay for every outing.
Once I had no money for petrol (though my Splendour gave me 70 kilometers per litre – which back then cost Rs 30 only) and was
forced to go to college in a bus. It was then that I realized the possibilities of striking a conversation with a girl in the bus stop was
higher from then onwards started travelling by bus.
If you are a bachelor and are looking out for a good girl (with loads of patience), strike a conversation with the girl who waits with
you at the bus stop.
“So, which bus are you waiting for?” I inquired one warm morning.
“The bus with six wheels.” She responded.
By her reply itself, I knew she was from the Sir Parshurambhau College – a girl’s exclusive. For those that don’t know, in Pune
(Maharashtra) Sir Parshurambhau College is also known as S.P College. ‘Love Developing Center’, some argue.
“Six wheels including the spare tyre?” I tried to continue the conversation.
The girl never spoke to me again. Even when I told her that the ‘six wheel bus had arrived.’
I learnt the best lesson that day – have intelligent opening lines if you have to strike a conversation with a girl. If you are a bachelor
and are looking out…please rehearse some the opening lines given below:
1) “I think US should vacate Iraq at the earliest. What do you say?”
2) “Do you really think Rahul Gandhi is the Yuvraj Singh of the Congress?”
3) “With Twenty20 cricket matches gaining popularity, do you think the 50-overs matches will soon become extinct?”
Remember, the above questions will help you strike a conversation with only 80% of the girls. If you end up with the other 20%, try
and make an honorable exit.
You could always try sites like ibibo Café, Facebook or Orkut. Besides, there are the personal advertisement sections (the ones in
newspapers & Magazines)…where God-knows-why nobody is average looking. Everybody is tall, handsome and intelligent!
